Debunking 5 Myths About Child Custody

When you are fighting for the child custody arrangement you’ve determined is best for your family, you are probably approaching the process with many anxieties, questions, and misconceptions. For any legal procedure, knowledge is power, which is why it’s important you understand the realities of how child custody is arranged. 

Many of the questions you have will depend on your circumstances, and you should consult your legal counsel on the specifics of your situation. However, there are several commonly believed myths regarding child custody, which is why we have created this blog to dispel these misconceptions.

The divorce attorneys of Lunn Law LLC have helped many clients pursue the child custody arrangements they desire. We know what sorts of mistakes clients make when they approach the process, which is why we have collected several of the common myths we have encountered in order to let you know the truths of the child custody process. 

Myth: The Court Always Determines Custody Arrangements

One of the common anxieties associated with the child custody process is the fear that you are losing control over decisions regarding your child. It’s common for parents to fear that they are leaving a monumental decision to the court and that they must end up in litigation to have their sides heard and, hopefully, win their preferred arrangement. 

The reality, however, is that if you and your spouse are able to cooperate by drawing up a parenting plan that works for both of you, the judge will typically respect your decision. Keep in mind, however, that if a judge has concerns about whether the specifics of your parenting plan do not constitute the best interest of the child, you might experience push back that has to be addressed.

Myth: Custody Arrangements Can’t Be Changed

Child custody arrangements are able to be modified after the initial arrangement is put into place. Circumstances change and the needs of children change as they grow older, which includes their custody needs. Child custody can be modified for many reasons, but some of the ones most commonly cited include:

• a change in the life of the child, 
• a change in residence or work schedule of one or both parents,
• or a change in the mental, emotional or physical fitness of a parent.

Either parent can request a modification in child custody, and they must present compelling evidence that a change in the arrangement would be in the best interest of the child. 

Changes to child custody arrangements should always be done through the courts, even if you and your co-parent are able to make an informal agreement to rearrange custody. When it comes to legal matters, especially those involving your family, you want to be sure that the record is clear and you are not acting without the appropriate guidance.

Myth: Abusive Or Otherwise Unfit Parents Can’t Be Given Custody

In most situations, it is true that parents with a history of abusive behavior, substance addiction, mental illness, and suicide ideation are not given custody of their children. However, there are circumstances in which a parent with a history of any of these issues might be able to argue that the child would fare best in their custody. Sometimes the court will determine that it is the child’s best interest to have access to both parents in spite of any shortcomings. In many situations, these parents will be able to secure supervised visitation or even a higher level of custody. 

In some situations, parents with a history of abuse can get custody by proving that they have kept a clean record, that they have moved past their abusive behavior, or that they sought counseling and have satisfied any legal requirements such as probation. The same logic can be applied to parents with a history of substance abuse if they are able to test cleanly for a prolonged period of time, or if they have a debilitating mental illness and can prove that they have stabilized their issues through therapy or medication. 

Myth: Parents With Joint Custody Don’t Pay Child Support

Though it is often the case that parents with joint custody have equitable responsibility regarding their child, that doesn’t mean everything about the life they can provide is perfectly equal. Depending on the financial status of each parent, one might still have to pay child support to the other in order to ensure that there is not a huge discrepancy in the quality of life and care that the child receives with each parent. 

Child support is intended to provide for the needs of a child first and foremost but also so they experience a stable transition between parents and households. If one parent can afford certain types of care for a child and the other cannot, the experience between homes is inequitable, which can lead to stress or even resentment.

Myth: Mothers Get Custody And Fathers Pay Child Support

When fathers are fighting a custody battle, they often enter with the assumption that proceedings will be biased toward the mother and that she is more likely to win a greater amount of custody. Conversely, they believe that since mothers are favored by the courts, fathers will have to pay a high amount of child support. 

The reality is that mothers have historically been favored in custody cases because they were more likely to serve as primary caregivers. However, in the current day, courts decide custody and child support based on what they determine is in the best interest of the child. 

One consideration for the child’s best interest is who has been the primary caregiver for the child–if the answer is the mother, that will be at least one consideration in her favor. However, the court will also look at questions such as which parent can provide the most stability for the child, who can better financially support the child, whether there is the risk of abuse in the household, and other similar issues.

Child support, similarly, is decided based on what will be optimal for the care of the child, and it will take into account the financial situation of each parent. 

Lunn Law, LLC, Can Offer Optimum Legal Support And Guidance

The lawyers of Lunn Law, LLC, have helped guide many clients through their experiences with divorce and custody. If you work with us, we will advocate for you to get the custody arrangement that you feel would be best for your family. Reach out to us to schedule an initial case assessment and learn more about how our law firm can help ensure that you will not be taken advantage of in court.