5 Strategies To Detoxify Your Divorce

Divorce can be one of the most stressful times in a person’s life. By its very nature, divorce can invite arguments, emotional outbursts, feelings of betrayal, and general toxicity that can threaten your mental health and overall well-being. Which is why, when you initiate divorce, it is ideal to be armed with strategies that will eliminate avenues for toxicity before it can occur.

The family lawyers of Lunn Law understand the chaos that divorce can cause, which is why we have constructed a blog full of our best tips for preventing high-stress, high-conflict proceedings. You can read on to discover methods for keeping your divorce as hassle-free as possible so that you can begin the next chapter of your life on a peaceful note and with a clear mind!

Practice Flexibility

When you are divorcing, you are contending with so many emotions. Sometimes these feelings can be positive–you might feel relieved or hopeful for the future. More commonly, however, you might feel slighted, hateful, and petty. It might seem like a good idea to turn the divorce procedure into a competition. You might even feel willing to burn everything down to get what you want–or even better, to prevent your spouse from getting what they want.

The healthiest thing you can do is recognize these feelings when they occur, acknowledge them, and then work on letting them go. Instead, focus on the future that you want for yourself and set reasonable landmarks toward making that dream a reality. When issues come up in your divorce, ask yourself if the matter is worth fighting over. 

Further, if there’s something that your spouse wants from the divorce, instead of trying to keep them from realizing their own happier future, ask yourself if making the compromise could entitle you to something that’s going to further your own goals. For example, if your spouse wants your shared vehicle, would you be willing to let it go for another shared asset or more money or a more suitable custody arrangement? 

Be flexible in your approach to divorce, show that you are making good faith choices, and your attitude is more likely to be reciprocated. 

Don’t Retaliate–Document

No matter how flexible or agreeable you try to be, there will be certain divorces in which one spouse will try to get a rise out of the other, act spitefully, or otherwise try to make the divorce experience as difficult as possible. If you find yourself in a situation in which your spouse is the one using the divorce process to be antagonistic, the best possible thing you can do is not retaliate. As much as possible, conduct your divorce through your lawyers. 

If your spouse’s behavior is exceptionally retaliatory or borders on abuse, you can deal with this type of aggression by documenting all occurrences. Keep a log of dates and provide any relevant details. Write down incidents, save texts and emails and social media posts, and take pictures where applicable. 

Turn over this documentation to your lawyer, who can determine whether this evidence will be admissible in your divorce. Depending on the circumstances, you might be able to curb their behavior, get a protective order, arrange custody in your favor, or gain access to marital assets that are important to you. In this scenario, you don’t want to give your spouse the satisfaction of retaliating, especially because retaliation can get you into trouble as well. 

Appoint Trustees

If you are dealing with trouble over marital assets, appointing trustees to itemize and appraise them can spare you many arguments and headaches. Trustees are attorneys who, as a third party, can responsibly take charge of valuable assets such as jewelry and art, as well as accounts, including bank accounts and retirement accounts, and other valuables that you want to ensure are valued accurately. 

Employing third parties to handle the most contentious aspects of your divorce can allow you to avoid bitterness and fights. You can ensure that your assets are appraised and liquidated fairly so that there is no lingering resentment over disagreements about cost and who owes what. 

Don’t Go To Court

If at all possible, you should try to resolve your divorce through methods such as mediation and negotiation, which prevent you from having to settle in court. Coming to resolutions with your spouse has many benefits–for example, it can give you a sense of closure to decide the ending along with your spouse as you did the beginning. 

Making mutual decisions also gives you a greater sense of control over the particulars of your divorce. Rather than having a judge decide on asset division and child custody for you, you and your spouse can make decisions based on the knowledge that you’ve gained sharing a life together, as well as the goals that each of you has for your post-divorce life. 

Though you might not reconcile through this process, good-faith negotiation strategies can give you a sense of ownership over your decisions and even potentially allow you to part with your former spouse amicably. No matter your reasons for divorcing, an amicable split can give you more power in the end as it can eliminate lingering resentment that could hold you back from finding the peace and happiness you seek going forward. 

Engage With Your Support Network

Now is a great time to engage with family and friends and make sure that you are strengthening bonds that mean a lot to you. Divorce can take up so much of your mental energy, so taking a break to connect with the people you love can lend you strength throughout the process. It can challenge you to realize the power of the relationships in your life that aren’t marital, and it can remove you from the perspectives that you’ve centered in your marriage and the challenges that you face there. 

While looking for support from established friends and family is always beneficial, you can also look for support from others going through what you are. Engaging a therapist who can help you with healthy coping mechanisms and even looking into divorce support groups can do wonders for your mentality. A thoughtful outlook can make all the difference during times of stress!

Lunn Law Has The Strategies You Need For A Successful Divorce

Divorce does not have to be a struggle. When you have the right team on your side, you have a better chance at getting what you need out of your divorce so that you can start your new life on the right foot. Lunn Law can give you the tools you need to make informed, empowered decisions. Reach out to schedule an initial case assessment with a member of our team and learn how Lunn Law can offer the legal guidance you need.